Tuesday, October 29, 2013

You need a lot of grace in marriage



I liked the article  ''Grace at Home (1)'' written by Bob & Debby Gass.

'...But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.' Romans 5:20 NIV


You need a lot of grace in marriage. Even in the best of relationships, things happen that cause misunderstanding and hurt. Speaking about his marriage, therapist Michael Sytsma says: 'Before I was married, God said, "Mike, you have some rough edges. To help you become more Christ-like, I'm giving you Karen. That should do the trick." So he brought Karen...into my life to identify all my shortcomings. My first response when she points out my flaws? Not gratitude! Instead, I strike back: "How dare you point out those things? What's your problem?" Then I have the opportunity of either denying my feelings, or owning them and maturing. And Karen can either harbour anger and resentment, or offer grace and forgiveness. Imagine a marriage filled with grace: a spouse who extends joy, pleasure, sweetness, kind speech and unmerited favour. My wife does that. I'm still working at it.' Here is the first of four ways you can show grace to your spouse: (1) Try to look at it differently. Focus on the positive. If you think your spouse is stubborn, feeling loving toward them is hard. But if you exercise grace and choose to see them as persistent and tenacious, loving them becomes much easier. If they're disorganised, by grace you can choose to see that as a sign they are spontaneous, or creative, or the flexible type, or even over-extended. '...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.' (Philippians 4:8 NIV) People usually try to live up to the image you hold of them!

Debra K. Fileta of truelovedates.com says: We all think of the deep spiritual and physical benefits of oneness, but do we ever consider these things: One house. One bed. One bathroom. One mirror above the bathroom sink. One bank account. One budget. In marriage, you relearn the preschool lesson of “sharing,” but you learn it in a very non-preschool kind of way. You learn to let go of the mine and yours mentality, because in marriage, everything is truly ours. There’s something really hard, but something really beautiful about that. It’s a reminder that at the end of the day what’s mine is yours…but everything we have, is actually His.

Before you’re married it’s easy to see marriage as the grande finale. It’s the thing we dream of and live for. It’s the force propelling us forward into this destination we call life. And then it finally comes! Now what? There’s this strange moment when you realize that this relationship that God has blessed you with is a fraction of the grand scheme He has for your life. Your purpose and passions will extend far beyond the reach of your relationship with your spouse. Even more exciting, is seeing God at work because of this relationship that He’s given you as the love between you and your spouse is reflected to the world around. Marriage is not the end, it’s only the beginning. God’s got so much more up His sleeve.

John UpChurch in his ‘‘5 Steps to Becoming Marriage Material’’ says:   This is one of my biggest pet-peeves, and also one of my biggest flaws. Although I still struggle with admitting when I am wrong, the struggle is nothing compared to how I once was. Pride can be something that can ruin a friendship or relationship before they even begin. And although not everyone is perfect, nobody wants to be with someone who thinks that they are. The reality of life is that you are going to be wrong sometimes! Even though sometimes it’s really annoying to admit it, confessing your mistakes will show a sense of humility to those around you. Drop the pride. Nobody wants to marry an arrogant know-it-all. Read (Proverbs 11:2)

Abundant Grace - Marriage!

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.

Ephesians 5:25-29 NASB

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:18,19 RSV

Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you.

2 Peter 1:10,11 NASB

Walk Worthy!

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:1-2 NASB

God wants the fellowship of His people because He wants us to be the very best that we can possibly be. Sometimes, He will put us into situations that seem desperate because God wants us to turn to Him in prayer so that we will grow into better people. We must realize that our challenges and difficulties are never meant to be cruel and punishing – rather, they are given with great love and caring for our own good.

Besides requiring effort, walking implies a destination, a goal. When a person walks, he is moving purposefully to accomplish something regardless of whether it is to flip a light switch, shop at a store, get some exercise, or go to work or school. God requires that we "walk in newness of life." It is our God-appointed goal in life and the reason He invites us into His presence. Our lives cannot consist of aimless drifting; we are headed somewhere, even as Israel's goal was the Promised Land. When you go your own way, you miss the very best part of life. In fact, walking with God is so much better than a worldly life that one day spent in fellowship with God is better than a thousand days out of fellowship with Him.

God bestows upon His followers gifts tailored to each one's ordained assignments. The Holy Spirit reveals our calling, and we're to give our best effort. Of course, no matter what the task may be, the result will be worthless unless the Father breathes life into it. In other words, we are entrusted with God-appointed work. He assigns the duty, provides the skills, and causes growth. The Lord deserves all of the glory. We are blessed simply to be a part of His plan.

Blessings,

Raj Kosaraju


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